I want to introduce my dear friend Tammie Taggart to our blog this morning. Tammie and I have known each other for a long time and have been in a Small Group together for the last couple of years. She has experienced many rough waters throughout her life and handles them so gracefully with strength, courage, and wisdom. She is one of the ladies in my life that I turn to for guidance and support. She is also an amazing writer and is going to share her newest journey with you on our blog. I will say no more as this is her story to tell…
THE JOURNEY BEGINS
April 27, 2018
It was a Tuesday, a regular everyday type Tuesday. The doctor’s office called, the doctor wanted to talk to me about my test results. Oh boy. Here we go. But I already knew the results. God had given me a word that morning just as I was about to wake up, it was going to be breast cancer. It was going to be okay. A calmness came over me, I had been praying for answers, and now, I had an answer. My Father had answered. I did not have to fear the words of the doctor because my Father came before and told me. I went to work, I did my job already knowing the answer about the biopsy results.
Lisa Smith went with me because my husband was not close to home, he’s a truck driver. I sat in the doctor’s office and heard that there are “cancer cells present”. I was glad to have Lisa sitting beside me, I didn’t ever feel alone. I knew God and Lisa were in the room. I remembered the words my sister told me when my mom passed away, “It’s going to be very hard for a while but we’re going to be okay.” Yes, I felt that way right then at that moment.
I called my husband in the hallway while waiting for the elevator. I was stunned. I couldn’t think. What did I need to do? Oh yea, pick up your daughter. Everyday stuff came roaring back to me, I needed to be a mom right now. No time to think. Couldn’t think about it anyway, I had stuff to do.
I called my dad. I called my sister. I told my boys. I called my momma’s sister. Then I didn’t want to think about it anymore. Not today.
Over the next few days, I was okay on the outside, I smiled and laughed and did my work but inside, my guts shook. I knew that there was fear. I prayed. I did not want to be fearful. I am waiting to go see the surgeon, Monday, I can’t walk around fearful til Monday. Fear has to be fought back, now, or I will dissolve in panic. I prayed some more. Calmness came back.
I read a book. I felt the overwhelming desire for information. It was scary. Some parts I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to read about massectomy. I didn’t want to read about baldness. I didn’t want to read about chemo. But I read it anyway. I ended reading and felt informed. It didn’t feel overwhelming. This is going to be very hard, but I came away feeling like it was doable. DOABLE. Ok.
I am a planner by nature, I have the ability to see the entire picture. I am now planning the logistics of this thing. Job, housework, karate classes, shopping, cooking, laundry. A lot to do . I’d better get busy. I’ve got a long way to go.