May 15, 2018

I always think I can do more than I should be doing, I don’t realize it’s only been a few days since the surgery. I went downstairs to the shower thinking I could do it all myself. It didn’t go well, I ended up wrapped in a towel trying to get back up the steps and crying. I am very sore. The water stung as it hit my skin. I should probably ask for help but I’ve been known to be stubborn a few times in my life.

I have wonderful friends bringing dinner every day. I am so grateful to them. It is one thing I haven’t had to worry about, feeding my family. My daughter, Alexis, is 9 and she’s been very helpful, she put away laundry, put clothes in the dryer and unloaded the dishwasher. Lisa came today and did the floors, now I have one less thing to worry about. I had Russell take me to church on Sunday. It took more energy than I expected but I am glad I went. I was hugged and prayed over, I needed the connection with other people.

I’m waiting for pathology results from the tumor. Wednesday afternoon we will learn the Stage of the cancer, if the margins from the surgery are clear of cancer cells, and determine which type of mucinous carcinoma it is, there are 2 types, pure and mixed. This information will determine what treatment is next. Chemo? Radiation? How much of each? More surgery to get more cancer cells? What? The waiting is difficult.

I know that God already knows the answers, He knows the outcome of the tests and He knows treatment that will be required. I have nothing to fear, He has already made a way for me. I just have to have faith and trust His plan. It’s not easy, waiting never is, our brains think up all types of possible outcomes, but with Him I know it will all happen as He sees fit. I trust He will take care of me.

Waiting with Hope,
Tammie Barker Taggart

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